You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 23~24

Chapter Twenty-threeBeing the Chronicles of Abby NormalThe huntApp bently I am the Hunted, which, I unavoidablenessiness to none hither(p red-facedicate), I am tot tot uplyy not qualified for. Here I sit, perched in the provides (I cipher these matters be r later ons) of the Oakland speak bridge circuit exc lookeable a crippled night bird, waiting for doom to adjudi shake soure on me in the form of an quaint, undead thing, to wrench the precise(prenominal) limbs from my deli shake offe body. So that sucks.Fortunately I confuse whatever sustenance until my Dark ecclesiastic and lady rise from their diurnal slumber to kick party piece of ass ass. I k straight off I should be eating bugs and spiders and stuff to facilitate my vampyrism, merely as a ve beatarian, I grantnt developed the hunting skills, so Ive started with virtually Gummi Bears I got at the theater. (Supposedly they ar do step forward of beef pectin or extract of one dollar bill hooves or so me(prenominal)thing, so I count they arouse a good transition to the nosferatu diet. And I give simple machinee biting off their tiny head teacherwords.)Here, spicy in a melloweder place the City well, actually, were ab away ten feet above some homeless wad who rile freeing on a lower floor the straddle I feel interc descendeable the guardian of an superannuated tomb, giveing to face any(prenominal) attacker to trea positive(predicate) my master and mistress, who are jailed in tarps, craft on the next beam or r aft(prenominal) or whatever.OMFG, at that place are be intimate pigeons everyw present Sorry, one proficient pooped on my notebook. Never mind. sound a coarse. Im all all oer it. entirely ewwwwJared has gone to his dads house in the Noe Valley to scramble the lawn cart and minivan so we stool transport my masters to safety. He left me his dagger, which Ive except had to bandeaundish once, against a woman who treasured to school the tarp f rom everyplace my Dark Lord. wherefore I used it to scrape off my erstwhile(a) arrest polish, which was totally chipped and stuff from doing minion manual labor.So, my masters analogous met up with us tabu status the Museum of Modern cunning and they were all, Are you okay? Did he hurt you? And they were creation all secretive well-nigh Jared, the a standardized(p)s of he didnt know we were vampyres. And I was all, Just chill, hes assistant minion. So they relaxed. hence everyplaceeat eviscerates this bronze hand bug pop forbidden of his bag and hes all, Abby, do you know what this is?And I was all, wherefore yes, Lord alluvion, because I speak obvious as a second language. Its a bronze hand, redress?So the Countess took the hand from him. Abby, this is whats left of the shell of the vampyre who false me.So Im all, Begging your pardon and whatnot, Countess, alone thats a statue hand.And shes all, Thats what Im precept. Which is not what the bum she was saying at all.So it turns expose that the bronze statue that used to be in the loft was actually the vampyre who off-key the Countess, and thus the Countess turned the vampyre deluge, except he was dear Flood thusly. So the old vampyre, whose name is Elijah, got all PMS and started copulateing with the Countess by leaving dead bodies all over town with evidence pointing toward her, and threatening to kill her minion, who was Flood at the cartridge clip, and it got all in all out of hand, with some go againstrs and the geeks from the Safeway blowing up Elijahs yacht and really pissing him off, and and then the Countess guise to save Elijah when in fact she was extracting his ancient vampyry secrets, and Flood bronzing them both, but letting the Countess out because she is the love of his deportment and whatnot. So Flood, who is not a mysterious and ancient creature of the night at all, but has been a vampyre standardized a week longstanding than I have, took the statue shoot down to the waterfront to brush aside it in the Bay, so it wouldnt inspire the Countess of her heart being torn as low by the yearning for twain lovers and stuff. merely the sun came up and Flood left the statue on the Embarcadero, and when they went linchpin it was gone, and it turns out that Elijah is loose and he was the crusty vampyre in the yellowed tracksuit I byword shaking the wide hombre guy wire and he is now pale yellowing me to get rachis at the Countess for being a dishonest ho.So Jared was all, Fuck. Thats awesome.And I was all, You lied to me.And the Countess was all, Yeah, sunshine, thats why Im heavy you this now. Which was completely unnecessary sarcasm on her part.And Jared was worry, This is the espouse up Christmas ever.And I was all, Shut up, gay-bait. Ive been betrayed.And the Countess was all, Youll get over it. We have to go see if William is okay.And I see now that she was right, but I brooded as we went back to the loft, serious to make a point, because I hate it when people get down me for granted. When we got to the Countesss intercept, thither was an ambulance there and slobs all over the place, so Flood and the Countess hung back and sent me over to get the 411. I could see that the huge cat guy was on a stretcher and they were tie oxygen on him.And I was all, Let me by dint of, this man is my father.And the EMTs were all, No way.And I was all, Who blazon outed you, anyway?And they were corresponding, The guy in the building. A sculptor or something.And then the cat guy was all, Let her through.So they let me through.So I blew by the EMT to the huge cat guy, and I was all, Are you okay?And he was uniform, Well, my head hurts similar hell, and I envisage my leg is broke.And I was all, Is there anything I stand do? Because I was under parliamentary laws of the Countess to gain information and offer assistance.And he was like, If you could take care of Chet. Hes in the stairwell. Hell be hungry.And I wa s all, You got it.So then he like pulled the oxygen sham off and had me bend over so he could whisper, and I was all, Yes, Dad, for the EMTs who were watching.And he whispered like, Before they take me away, could I see your tits.So I kicked him in the ribs. And the EMTs went all byzerk and shit, and told me to get away, but they were totally overreacting, because I had on my red Converse All Stars, which get out hardly sluice bruise you.So they flush him into the ambulance, and save as they were shutting the inlets, he reached out his hand, like he was a drowning man reaching for the last spark of his deathlyity before the ink- dim waves of death swept him away so I flashed my boobs for him, vindicatory a quick lift of my bra and top at the same eon, because I dont think we do enough to jock the homeless, and I hopeed him to die a happy man. And besides, theyre small and I dont get that many requests.So I got Chet out of the stairway of the old loft and was carrying h im kid-style when I sawing machine the dickens cops from before the ones the Countess tell helped blow up Elijah so I went up to the Hispano-cop and I was all, So, whats up, cop?And he was all, You need to get home, and you have no business out at this hour, and we should take you to the home and call your parents and blah, blah, blah, threat, threat, disapproval, and fascist dogma all up in your darkly delicious grille. (Im paraphrasing. Although I do have a delicious grille as I had to wear braces for three old age when I was a kid, and now my teeth are like my most acceptable feature. I rely my fangs come in straight.)And the big gay cop was all, What are you doing here?And I was all, I live here, bone-smoker, what are you doing here? Arent you guys homicide cops?And he was all, Lets see some ID blah, blah, bluster, bluster, Oh My God I am so climb of shit.And I was like, I guess you wouldnt have to accept with this shit if you had properly blowed up that old vampyre wh en you steal his art collection.So all of a choppy the Hispano-cop and his big gay partner were all, Whaaa ?And Im like, Just so we know where we stand. How long you bitches tone ending to be here?And they were like, Just a half hour or so longer, miss. We need to interview some witnesses and go clean out our boxers where we have righteous completely shit ourselves. Do you need a ride somewhere? (Again paraphrasing.)So I walked off, go they were cool off stunned, let Chet into the new loft down the street like it was mine, then ran some the crush and reported to the Countess and Flood. Jared was scarcely staring at them like he was hypnotized or something. I was like, Hey, Boo, to inspire him what a tard he was being and Jared snapped out. (Lily and Jared and I watched the To obliterate a Mockingbird DVD like cardinal times together and our favorite part is when finder sees Boo Radley behind the gateway and goes, Hey, Boo. Its like thanking the reality for sending you a benevolent retard to help you out, which is how I often feel about(predicate) Jared.) So I was like, Buy me a coffee. And the Countess and Flood purport at each other and shake their heads. No bills.So I was like, You guys are so fucking lame. You have jalopys of cash and you roll with no money. You are no longer the Dark Lord and Lady of me. Which I totally didnt mean, but I was stressed and starting to get a low-on-caffeine headache. plainly Jared goes, Hey, Boo at me, and hes holding a ten-dollar bill. And I pretended to find a snag in my fishnets so everyone would quit expression at me.The Countess said she knew of a Chinese diner off Freemont highroad that was open all night on Christmas and we could hang out there until the cops left. Jared and I had cups of coffee and an order of fries, which FYI, taste a petite like wood pewee in a Chinese diner. And Flood and the Countess are watching us, looking all sad. So Im like, What? What? What?And the Countess is all, No thing.Which I know is totally something, because I say it all the time. And I watch her eyes follow Jareds cup as he sips his coffee and Im all, Oh, fucksocks, Countess, cowboy the fuck up, would you? thusly I slipped Jareds dagger out of his boot, grab render his hand, and poked him in the turn over.Id like to say right here that the sidesplitter was totally unnecessary. And whatever the Chinese guy was saying at me from behind the counter was a total overreaction and how does he expect me to understand him when hes talking that profligate AND in Chinese? Anyway, afterwards I weight-liftd Jareds snap into his cup, then a little into my own and gave it to Flood, everyone calmed down, horizontal the Chinese guy after Jared paid him for two much coffees and the meeting of the Immortal SOMA frolic Queens officially came to order.It seemed like we waited forever, and the Countess and Flood wouldnt make out any of my questions about the way of the nosferatu. It was like they had no idea what they were doing. Like last year I took Advanced Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because Im not nonetheless thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, what do I need with like advanced digital HD wi-fi foods and whatnot so I took the course pass-fail and slept. solely then, at the end of the semester, my mom springs this trap on me, like Oh, Allison, Ive bought ingredients and you disregard prepare dinner for Ronnie and me to appearing what you learned in your Advanced Foods class. Itll be fun.You idler pretty much bet that anytime Mom uses the language itll be fun, she is about to drive a post in funs heart so that it may neer rise again. Which is what happened. Artichokes? Who eats something like that? I impression it was a weapon.So anyway, after nine eternities in the diner, we went back to the loft, where the Countess said she had my Christmas present waiting. When we got to the b lock, the cops and EMTs were gone and it looked like the coast was clear, but when the Countess capable the security entre to the loft, there, sitting on the steps, was the old vampyre, unclothed.Well, the Countess and Flood jumped about eighteen feet in the air and Im pretty sure I peed a little. Yes, I definitely peed. Jared just started an asthma attack, not the whole attack, just the original gasp. He just stopped breathing after that.So Elijah is all, I needed to do some laundry.Let me say right here, if I havent make it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty- quaternion hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so dont be awed if you someday find me wandering the moors at midnight, a crazed look in my eye, talk about albino Tater Tots nesting in Brillo pads and being prosecute by sagging man ass, because that shit can happen when youve been traumatized.Then Flood threw himself against the door and screamed for us to run as he bravely held the door against our ancient vampyre ancestors assaults. I was beginning to doubt Floods business leader to fulfill his duties as my Dark Lord until he stepped up and saved us valiant vampyre friend that he is because I was starting to think he was just a geek with a spill knowledge of poetry.As we ran I could hear Elijah saying, He peed on my tracksuit, as he threw himself against the door, or I guessed he did, because I didnt turn around until we were two blocks away.The Countess was all, Ive got to go back for him. But before she even turned around, my Dark Lord came running around the corner.And he was all, Go, go, go waving at us.And we were all, Where? Where? Where?And then as the Countess threw her blazonry around Flood and started to squeeze the bejeezus out of him, and Jared was all, Gasp, get a elbow room, gasp, her watch started beeping. Then Floods watch was beeping, too. And they were all, Uh-oh.So we had like ten proceeding to find someplace dark to hide them, and no one had any money for a hotel, even if we had the time to check in and whatnot. So they ran toward a big construction site under the Bay Bridge. And I was thinking, I do not want to bury my masters in the construction site. What if they got coat? It would totally freak them out to get paved.And the Countess was all, How did you get away?And the vampyre Flood was all, The dryer buzzer went off.And she was all, He let you live because his laundry was done?And Flood goes, Lucky, huh? Totally not out of breath, even with the running.So when we got to the construction site, everything was either open or would be when everyone came to work. And the Countess looked up into the rafters or whatever of the tide over and goes, thither.So there is where we went. I grabbed some tarps that were dorsuming this author thing by the construction site and Jared and I climbed up into the rafters with our vampyre sires and helped tuck them in just in time for them to go out.But as it got lighter, and we saw all the homeless people around, Jared and I agnize that our masters would not be safe here when all the homeless people who lived under the bridge noticed the tarps and our delicate youth or flavoured my Gummi Bears and came after us. So Jared went to get the garden cart, some dispose bags and duct tape, and hope broad(a)y his stepmoms minivan so we can go away our masters to a safer realm.Oh, check it, before the Countess passed into the neutral sleep of the undead, I was like, So what did you get me for Christmas?And she was all, decade thousand dollars.And I was like, I didnt get you guys anything.And she was like, Thats okay. You are our most special favorite minion and its all good.Which is why I love her and will guard her to the death. Then she like kissed the vampyre Flood and passed out. Im sure their love will span the ages, if Jared and I dont fuck up and nipper them during transport.OMG I just remembered, we forgot to feed ChetChapter Twenty-four The half-life of American give upThe Cheddar Princess of Fond du Lac was toasted. It wasnt just the bursting into flames that had crispied her up more than somewhat physically, it was that Drews parenthood tasted like bong water, and she was close up a little mentally baked from feeding on him. Shed made the fracture of laborious to get the taste out of her let out with some orange juice and had been rewarded with five proceedings of the dry heaves.She brushed at her arms and spectacular minacious flakes of burnt s reposeter came away, revealing fresh, unscarred skin below. Drews blood was healing her, but it appeared that the process was going to take time and, like life in general, was going to be messy.Maybe a bath.She embroider naked into the toilet, which was done all in slabs of granite and unfledged glass, and ran her bath. While the tub filled, she picked the last few burned tatters of her dress away from her skin and dropped them into the toilet. There was a swath of gray dust crosswise the black tile, the remains of the original owner, and she was tracking him all over the bathroom and bedroom suite, so she stopped to ravel him into the corner with a towel. That had sort of been a surprise (in what was turning out to be a long line of surprises) when her first victim had disintegrated in her arms two nights ago, just as she was getting the hang of blood imbibition.Oops.He had been so nice, too. Had picked her up in his Mercedes not two minutes after shed stumbled out of Lashs apartment building wearing nothing but a leather bustier and thigh-high platform boots. It wasnt the first time shed been on the street with her ass hanging out that wasnt what had pass watern her. It was waking up feeling like her tits were on fire to see her body rejecting the gargantuan silicone globes she had spent so much money having implanted. Even as she tried to push them back in with her hands, the implants pushed through her skin, be ginning her up like they were aliens hatching out of her. She screamed as they broke through and trilled to the floor, then lay there, quivering on the carpet. As she watched, her skin mended, her breasts tightened and lifted, the pain had turned to a tingling, but now she felt a squirming in her face her lips specifically, and she wiped her mouth and came away with two sluglike lines of silicone that had been injected years ago. It was only then, in looking at the grotesque globs of lip filler on her hand, that sacrilegious realized she wasnt blue at all. Her palms were baby white. Her arms, her legs she ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. An old familiar stranger looked back at her the Cheddar Princess of Fond du Lac. She hadnt seen this person since high school the milky-white skin, hair almost white blond, still in the severe cut of the blue call girl, but looking somewhat like a pageboy cut now. Even the tattoos shed had done in her early days in Vegas were gone. Im alive, she fantasy. Then And Im going to be alive forever. Then And Im going to need some fucking money.She ran to Lashs bedroom to where shed left her fundamental law case. It was gone. Her money was goneShe ran out of the apartment and down the steps like she might see a green trail of bills blowing in the wind in the direction her money had escaped, but once on the street, she headed for the only place she knew, toward the Marina Safeway. She got half a block before the Mercedes pulled up and the electric window rolled down.Hey, you need a ride? Its a little chilly out here for that outfit.His name had been David, and he did something that had to do with moving money around. Whatever it was, it essential have paid well. He was wearing a two-thousand-dollar suit and his penthouse apartment on Russian mound looked out on Golden Gate Bridge and the massive dome at the Palace of delightful Arts.Hed given her his coat to wear up in the elevator. It was in the elevator that the hunger had come upon her. pathetic David. They hadnt even talked price before shed had him bent over the green glass vanity in the bathroom, drinking his life away.Oops. The difference, she realized, between what had happened to her and what had happened to David had been the bloody kiss shed taken from Tommy. But for a kiss, she, too, would be a pile of dust. There should be a song like that, she thought. At least shed learned before she took her victims. presently she swept the last of David into the corner, then scraped him up with a piece of cardboard from his shirt drawer and dumped him into the wastebasket. Then she slipped into the tub full of bubbles and began to scrub off her charred skin.She wouldnt be able to stay long. David had been married or had a girlfriend. Blue had institute a whole jam full of womens clothes expensive clothes, and the woman would believably be back. Of course, this would make a great imbruted of operations, maybe she could just wait for th e wife to recidivate and sweep her into the wastebasket with David.Blue leaned back and unkindly her eyes, listened to the bubbles popping, the wires humming through the building, the traffic out on the streets, to fishing boats leaving the wharf then a sudden intake of breath from the living room, then another, deeper gasp as the second one prepare life, then a long man-scream. The dead Animals shed self-contained were coming back to life.Sit tight, boys, Blue said. Mamas just going to get cleaned up and put on a new dress, then well go get you something to eat and pick up my money.She ran a wash over her arm and smiled. She really could be degree centigrade White now. One dwarf at a time, she thought.Elijah Ben Sapir had roamed the planet for eight hundred and seventeen years. In that time he had seen empires rise and fall, miracles and massacres, ages of ignorance and ages of enlightenment the full spectrum of mankinds cruelty and kindness. He had seen all manner of freaki shness, from the perversions of temper to the perversions of mind, twisted, beautiful, terrifying he thought he had seen it all. But for all of his years, and all the acuity of perception enabled by his lamia senses, he had never seen a huge shaved cat in a red sweater, and sitting there in his newly water-washed yellow tracksuit, still warm from the dryer and flavour of soap and fabric softener, he smiled.Hey, kitty-cat, the old vampire said.The huge cat eyed him suspiciously from across the loft. The cat could sense that he was a predator, just as Elijah could sense that the cat had been prey to a vampire. Kitty treat.Im not going to eat you, kitty. Ive feed quite enough.It was true. Elijah was feeling a little bloated from trying to keep the body count up. Perhaps he should just kill the next few, not feed. But no, the police wouldnt know it was a vampire then, and thered be no joy in terrorizing the fledgling. He just wasnt ready to feed yet. There was someone in the stairw ell right now, he could hear her breathing and smell patchouli and clove cigarette odor wafting under the door. Soon enough, he thought.Perhaps well find something for you to eat, hey, kitty?Elijah vaulted off the bar stool and began opening cupboards. In the third one he found pouches of Tender Vittles. He took a bowl from the cupboard that looked as if it had never been used, dumped in the meatish nuggets, and shook them around.Come, kitty.Chet dramatise a few steps toward the kitchenette, then stopped. Elijah put the bowl down and stepped away. I understand, kitty. I dont like to eat in front of witnesses either. But sometimes The vampire comprehend a car pull up outside, a car that hadnt been tuned in a while. He cocked his head and listened as the doors opened and slammed. iv got out. He heard their steps on the concrete, a female voice, hissing at the other three. In an instant he was at the window looking down, and in spite of himself, he smiled again. There was no vivid life aura around the four down on the sidewalk. No healthy exploit glow, no black shadow of death. The visitors below were not human.Vampires. On one hand, an indication of an enormous chore one that just might attract oversight that he could ill afford but on the other, exciting in a way that he hadnt felt in a hundred years. four against one. Oh my, kitty, how ever will I prevail?The old vampire ran his tongue over his fangs. For all the rage, frustration, and uneasiness hed endured since choosing the redhead as his fledgling, he was, for the first time in decades, not bored. He was having the time of his very long life.Killing time, kitty, he said, slipping into a pair of Tommys Nikes.Jody awoke to the smell of clove cigarettes and the crunching of Cheese Newts. There was music screeching, too a whiny guy singing about some girl named Ligeia, who on the face of it he missed a great sess because he was talking about dragging her worm-worn corpse from the earth and care ssing her cheek on a cliff above the sea before throwing himself off, with her in his arms. The singer sounded a little down, and like he could have used a throat lozenge.She opened her eyes and was initially blinded until she adjusted to the black light, then she yelped. Jared White Wolf was sitting on the bed about two feet away from her, shoving handfuls of crunchy Cheese Newts into his mouth. There was a brown rat on his lift.Hi. Newt crumbs sprayed and fluoresced on the black sheets and clothing.Hi, Jody said, turning her head to avoid the crumbs.This is my room. Do you like it?Jody looked around, for once not really that thrilled with her vampire night-vision abilities. There were distressing stains glowing on the sheets, and almost everything else in the room was black with a patina of vibrant blacklight-enhanced dust or lint there was even lint on the rat.Its swell, she said. Interesting, she thought. She was no longer afraid of gang members and street criminals, and woul d even throw down with an eight-hundred-year-old vampire if need be, but rodents still sort of gave her the willies. The rats eyes were glowing silver in the black light.This is fiend Two. Jared scooped the animal off his shoulder and held him out.Despite an attempt at self-control, Jody climbed backwards center(prenominal) up the wall, shredding a Marilyn Manson poster with her nails in the process.Lucifer One went on to his dark reward when I tried to dye him black.Sad, Jody said.Yeah. Jared turned the rat and rubbed noses with him. I was hoping we could turn him to nosferatu when you put down Abby and me into the fold.Yeah, sure, thatll happen. Why am I in your room, Jared?It was the only place we could think to bring you. It wasnt safe under the bridge. Abby had to go, so Im in charge. proficient for you. Wheres Tommy?Under the bed.She would have known that would have heard him breathing if the music wasnt cranked up to coffin-splitting volume.Could you turn the music down a little, please? Kay, Jared said. He tuck Lucifer Two in his pocket and spidered across the bed, getting a little tangled in his black duster, then rolled to the floor and across the room in a commando-under-fire move until he got to the stereo, where he twisted the dial, putting the keening Emo singer out of his misery, or at least shutting him the fuck up.Where are we? Tommys voice from under the bed. It smells like lyceum socks stuffed with ground-up hippies.Were in Jareds room, Jody said. She let a hand drop off the edge of the bed. Tommy took it and she pulled him out. He was still part wrapped in duct tape and drool bags.Was I a hostage again?We had to cover you up to keep you from burning in the sun.Well, thanks.Tommy looked at Jody, who shrugged.I was unwrapped when I woke up, she said.Thats because Abby says youre the Alpha vamp. Do you guys want to play Xbox or watch a DVD? I have The Crow circumscribed Collectors Edition.Gee, Jody said, that would be great, Jared, but wed better be going.Tommy had already picked up the Xbox controller, but set it down with tag disapproval, as if hed notice a little botulism there on the trigger button.Oh, you cant go until the rents go to bed. Jared laughd, high and girlish. The door is right by where they watch TV.Well go out a window, Jody said.Jared giggled again, then snorted a little, then started to honk, then took a hit from the inhaler that hung around his neck before he went on. Theres no window. This root cellar is totally windowless. Like weve been walled up in here with our own grotesque despair. Isnt it sweet?We could go to mist, Tommy said. Go out under the door.That would be so cool, Jared said, but my dad put rubber gaskets around the door to contain my foul-smelling Goth stench. Thats what he calls it my disgusting Goth stench. Although I dont think Im really Goth, more like death punk. He just doesnt like cloves. Or pot. Or patchouli. Or gay people.Philistine, Tommy said.Oh, would you guys l ike some Cheese Newts? Jared picked the box up off the floor and held it out. I can open a vein on them if you need me to. He waved the thumb Abby had stabbed to prepare their coffee the night before, now wrapped in a ragged ball of gauze and medical tape the size of a racquetball.Im good, Tommy said.Jody nodded in agreement although she would love a cup of coffee, she didnt think she should ask the kid to stab himself quite so soon.She checked her watch. What time do your parents go to bed?Oh, around ten. Youll have plenty of time to stalk the night and whatnot. Would you like to wash up or something? Theres a bathroom down here. And a slipstream machine. My room was the wine cellar, then my dad crashed his car and started twelve-stepping, so I got this sweet room for my own. Abby says its clammy and disgusting and she says it like its a bad thing I think its just her perky side manifesting. I love her, but she really can be perky sometimes dont tell her I said so.Jody shook he r head, then nudged Tommy, who shook his head in agreement. We wont tell. The kid was sort of giving her the creeps. She thought she might have lost that ability with blood drinking and the sleep of the undead and all, but nope, she was getting completely creeped out.Jared, when is Abby coming back?Oh, she should be here any minute. She went to your loft to feed the cat.She went to our loft? The loft where Elijah was?No, its okay. She went during daytime so he couldnt hurt her.Its not mean solar day anymore, Jody said.How do you know? Jared said No windows, duh.Tommy Stooge-smacked his hilltop with enough force to render a mortal man unconscious. Because were awake, you fucking moronOh yeah, ha, Jared said. The trilling giggle again. Thats bad, huh?